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Where's OJ Simpson?
To help promote her blah blah blah and whatever whatever whatever Jessica Simpson wore no makeup and NO BRA on the May cover of Marie Claire, which is a magazine for boring chicks. We kind of really, really, reallly like this.

I have heard so much about the new Mac Tablet that I almost want to get one myself... even though they supposedly don't exist, and if they do, no one has ever seen one, besides Willy Wonka... uhh, I mean Steve Jobs and his Oompa-Loompas.
So much speculation has gone into what these magical tablets are going to look like and what they are going to do, and yet no one has thought about how these new devices are going to affect the way we see celebrities.
Lucky for you guys, I know a thing or two about magic too, Photoshop magic. Using my Photoshop magic I was able to whip up some images of what we all have to look forward to from some of your favorite celebs once the Mac Tablet flies into Apple stores via the glass elevator.

Before the Mac Tablet, Victoria Beckham's son had to use his drawing pad to cover his mum's face from the paparazzi, but with the Mac Tablet, he won't have to worry about messing up his drawings.

Before the Mac Tablet, Lindsay Lohan's life was spiraling out of control, and she had to cover her face with tie-died clutch handbags, but the Mac Tablet is going to change all that. By the time the Mac Tablet hits stores, no one will even want to take pictures of her.

Before the Mac Tablet, Pete Wentz was kind of a playful d-bag. When the Mac Tablet comes out, Ashley Simpson still won't be able to sing, but he will be an even more playful d-bag, even more overly impressed by his own cleverness and long eyelashes.
P.S. - Expect someone like Rob Zombie or Robin Williams to show up on the VMA's dressed like Moses and carrying two Mac Tablets with the twelve commandments (possibly of rock and roll). Trust me.
Sincerely,
Charles McCarthy
IdeasbyChuck.com
In what can only be described as pure Bonage Day at LiquidGeneration, we just received these photos of Heidi Montag. THEY ARE NOT EXCLUSVIE BUT THEY ARE PRETTY DARN SEXY, DEFINTELY SEXIER THAN JESSICA SIMPSON. WHO CARES ABOUT HER ANYWAY.
How much plastic surgery has she gotten? Supposedly over 10 surgeries in one sitting. But who cares about the details because the details are in her boobs. and everything else about her. We don't care that Spencer has turned her lower love-making extremities into a disaster area either. Sorry we sound like 12-year-olds right now, but really, just look at her.
And while we have your attention, Haiti needs your help. Do it for Heidi.

BREAKING. Jessica Simpson's breasts were seen walking down the street! THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY. REFRESH LIQUIDGENERATION FOR FURTHER UPDATES ON THIS IMPORTANT MATTER.

In other news, WTF?
(via The Superficial)

Well, maybe they didn't do it. But according to this 2012 London Olympics logo, Lisa Simpson did do something nasty to Bart that may or may not be illegal is most of the universe. The British, man. Whether it's driving on the wrong side of the road or their teeth, they always have to be different. And perverted.

We totally approve of this union if only because TODAY IS THE DAY WE SEE PIGS FLY. TODAY ALIENS EXIST. THE WORLD IS FLAT. MAGIC IS REAL. GOD IS DEAD, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE SANTA IS REAL AND SO IS THE TOOTH FAIRY. EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE NOW. AHHHHHHHHHHH.
We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.
It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.
Check out the new Jessica Simpson Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!
We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.
The voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, is robo-calling people and telling them about the great wonders of Scientology.
It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.
Jessica Simpson has lost about 30 pounds, and has obviously be working out – she's got the calves to prove it!
What Simpson are you? O.J Simpson? Ashlee Simpson? Homer Simpson? Lisa Simpson? Find out now!
OJ Simpson is in trouble again and he needs some legal advice. Who to help, but the man who saved his life – his killer black glove!
It looks like Jessica Simpson might have gained some weight now that nobody really cares about her anymore. Unless she's just pregnant, which will make us care about her even less.